Where does the time go???

It's sad, the last time I posted was May 24th. I don't have an internet connection right now though. I'm posting this from my parents' house. I will have one on May 31st, the day we close on our house and move in.

TWO MORE DAYS!!!

YIPEE!!!!

So, I'm sorry I've not written, especially because I don't think I have anything really exciting to tell. I'm one boring biatch.

I CAN tell you that I really love my new job, regardless of the fact that I have to drive 33 miles one way. I don't mind the drive, it seems to fly by. Very strange to me because I hated the 13 mile drive to my other office when I worked for Sprint Nextel. I guess it's the newness of it all.

My parents are technologically challenged on just about every level. That's why I'm at their house. I'm trying to figure out why their printer won't print. I've gone through all the trouble shooting, but to no avail. It appears that their printer is caput! Pop is heading to Best Buy to find a new one. I'm sure I may be called back in to install this new one. Like I said, technologically challenged!

Well, it's Memorial Day so I need to get running. I have some stuff to do today. Not necessarily stuff I want to do, but just things that need doing. So, sorry I didn't give any interesting stories or have anything interesting to write about that has NOT happened to me. I'm boring these days. But the good news is that I'll have four days to myself to blog after I move into the new house because the BF is heading to our hometown in IL to pick up his daughter to bring her back here. It's her highschool graduation and he's going for that, plus to pick her up and to bring back all the crap he left at his ex-wife's house. Should be a semi-decent/sucky trip.

But, the best part? He's bringing back two Paglia's pizzas!! We're from a small college town and Paglia's is in our blood. I love their pizza. They have a patent on their sauce. It rocks. He's bringing back their house special and their supreme or ultimate...can't remember what it's called, but I'm looking forward to it! I asked him to bring back a container of their sauce and some of their tortolini too. That shit rocks as well. I would tell him to bring their spaghetti but I can make some fucking spaghetti. I also asked him to bring back some house dressing. They make it themselves and it is the bomb! It sucks that I'm wanting this stuff, but I'm about to start Nutri-System so I gotta get the bad carbs cravings out of my system before I begin. D promised me a trip to Mazatlan Mexico if I lost 50 lbs by Christmas. His incentive, because he knows I really want to drop all my weight, but get side- tracked at times. I'm so game for Mazatlan!

Okay, I'm outtie.

Later kids! Enjoy your Memorial Day!

More random shit from a (temporarily) random poster!

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I posted anything! I've been busier than a one armed paper hanger! I know, that sounds goofy. It's from Steel Magnolias. KB, can you tell me which lady said that line?

KB and I can recite most of the lines from that movie. We are idiots that way. It's almost embarrassing. It's been years since we lived in the same home town and would laugh our butts off while reciting lines back and forth. Yup, dorks...that's us.

I moved all my SHIT into storage, after getting rid of a a bigger load of SHIT...things I was ready to throw out and give up. Though, the BF said to hold on to the stuff that was worth selling in a yard sale. We've decided that sometime this summer we're going to have a large yard sale and sell our two sets of living room furniture and my dining set. We want to get new stuff for the new place. We're freakin' excited!

SOOOO tired from moving. I'm BEAT. So is D, and he had to take off for Chattanooga as soon as we moved my stuff into storage on Sunday. He just got home last night. Poor guy.

Poor me...I ended up with a migraine about 8 o'clock that night. I swallowed a handful of painkillers and turned out the lights and buried my head under the pillows. Didn't get much sleep, but thankfully I had taken Monday & Tuesday off. I had planned to go with D to Chattanooga, but had way too much to do for our move. I got most of it done, but still have a few things to do.

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Okay, I rarely use the dry cleaner, but I did the other day, had all my winter sweaters cleaned and a few work things. DAMN! It was $72!!!! That's a friggin' racket! I should have just handed them the lube and bent over.

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I was listening to my favorite radio station, DaveFM, on my way to work this morning and they were talking about the truancy problem in the city of Atlanta, specifically Gwinnett county where I live. Apparently there were over 2100 kids with more then 10 unexcused absences in the last semester (I'M FUCKING HOT FLASHING RIGHT NOW!! ARRRRGH!!!). My son was one of those 2100 kids. He has emotional issues and was giving me all sorts of grief in the mornings. He just wouldn't get out of bed. I tried everything and finally took him to the doctor, talked to his counselor and eventually put him in a treatment facility for severe depression.

The people who were calling in were talking about how the state takes away the drivers licenses/permits of these kids. My son's permit was suspended. They were saying how it was lack of parenting or bad parenting that was causing all of this behavior. I was so pissed I was seeing red. Some people were decent enough to say that it was different for each child and that bad parenting or lack of parenting couldn't be attributed to each case, but I was still pissed.

I have agonized over this issue with my son and his depression was deep and dangerous. I was with him all the time trying to be the best parent I know how. Maybe I'm not the best parent, but I do the best that I can. I love my kid more than life and I just want him to be a good person, a good citizen, the best man he can be. It is just so wrong of people who either don't have kids or don't have a child with a biological/phychological issue to sound off on this issue. It's not always parenting, it's often times the child. My parents were great parents. Conscientious, loving, supportive and available to us whenever we needed them. But, my little sister had emotional, pyschological issues. Severe depression, anorexia, paranoid schizophrenia. She was a mess, and she made my parents' lives a living hell.

My parents had the same problems with her that I'm having with my son. Depression is hereditary. I, myself, suffer from clinical depression and take Lexapro, but it doesn't rule my life by any means. I'm not even close in the severity that my sister suffers from or my son. His has been significant. But he is now on Lexapro and is doing much better. He's happier, he cut his long as hell hair off, shaved his mutton chops (thank GOD!). He's a different kid since he went thru the therapy and is on Lexapro. I couldn't have asked for a better change!

So, to all those folks who think if a kid is truant it's the parent's fault, think again. Ask questions. Find out the issues the parent and child are facing. It's not always the parent's fault.

Okay, done with that issue...moving on...

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I'm about to start Nutri-System. Has anyone out there tried it? If so, did you get good results? I'm insulin resistant and a PCOS sufferer. I'm hoping this will work for me. I'm running out of options. I cannot lose weight for any significant amount of time. I might lose up to 22-25 lbs, then I just stop. With all the meds I take (and new ones getting added here and there by my docs) the weight doesn't stay off. It comes back. This time Lupron therapy added back the 25 lbs I lost last summer. I've done Weight Watchers, Diabetic diets, gone to Curves, LA Fitness, dieticians, done Atkins, South Beach, the list goes on and on. I've been overweight for the last 9 years and it's really taking a toll on my body. I am trying Nutri-System as a last attempt before I try bariatric surgery. I don't want to do it, but I need to maintain my health and I'm a candidate for it. I'm thinking nothing too drastic, like the lapband, but like I said. LAST RESORT.

Has anyone done the Nutri-System diet and had success?

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Ok, I'm going to get back to work now. I've been blogging since, right now, I don't have a connection at home while I'm living with the BF in his teeny, tiny, itty, bitty studio apartment. I have lots to do to get our utilities and whatnot set up. Apparently I have been tasked with this. Why is it always the woman who has to do the phone work? I shouldn't complain. In fact, I should be ashamed. D did almost ALL the heavy lifting and moving of my furniture and boxes into storage. This is the VERY least I can do. He's the best boyfriend/mate I have EVER had. Bar none. I am SOOOO lucky. Really!

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Later taters!

No surprises here

I think we all are not surprised that Elliott got the axe tonight.

What was surprising was how freakin' close each one was with the American voters!

Elliott got 33.06% of the votes. The next one above him got 33.26% and the leader got 33.68%.


That's nuts.

But someone had to go home.

My prediction: Taylor will take the win, simply because he's got a uniqueness and likability factor about him that Katherine just hasn't mastered. Who knows if she will

I can't believe I watched it with so much shit left to pack!

I'm a fucking procrastinator!!!

Faster, Faster, FASTER!

I started my new job yesterday.

I hit the ground running. MSC, the former employee of the same company I worked for is the one who hired me to be her Operations Manager for my new company. It's a small company, just the way I like it! Working for my old company, Sprint, I got lost in sea of 70K employees. I was a number, not a name.

Anyway, MSC has already got me set up in meetings every day this week. I'm sure I'm going to be worn out, what with packing to move my stuff into storage this weekend and a trip to Chattanooga at the beginning of next week and then moving all my stuff into our house on May 31. I have to clean my apartment over Memorial Day weekend, which should be fun. I have at least a 1000 nail holes to fill. My son used nails to put up a gazillion pictures on his wall. Brainiac. He'll be doing most the filling!

So, I really doubt I'll get to blogging much unless I get a moment at work, which doesn't seem likely. I have two positions to fill immediately and job descriptions to write for four. Plus a program we're running I have to write a report on for a customer. Beside all the meetings I already have scheduled for the week.

Crazy!!!

Like I said, hit the ground running.

Random Spewtum

I'd like to thank Nugget Maven for sending me to the most vile photo I've seen in a long time. I cannot get this image out of my mind!

I hope that I haven't ruined ya'll's Mother's Day with such a horrific site! I'm sure many of you nurses have seen worse.

I bought my mother "The DaVinci Code" for Mother's Day. Believe it or not she hasn't read it yet, but she can't wait to see the movie. Of course, she and my father will wait until it comes to DVD to watch it. So, I figured I'd get her the book to prepare her for the movie so she has some deeper knowledge of what is happening that they can't fit into a two hour movie.

Is there anyone else in America who hasn't read this kick ass piece of fiction? I thought the book was great. I have read all of Dan Brown's books and he is one great fictional writer of the thriller genre! The research he has to do to write such detail would wear this chick out! I don't know if I'd be able to do it. Anyway, kudos to Dan Brown.

If you have read the book, who here thinks that Tom Hanks just doesn't fit the physical profile of Robert Langdon? I imagine a taller, blonde, late 30's or early 40's actor. Though I'm sure Tom Hanks will play the shit out of the role, I just keep picturing Robert Langdon as a Jeff Daniels looking guy, only better looking.

Who would you put in the role of Robert Langdon if you had to cast him in "The DaVinci Code."

Okay, I'm out of time, gotta go to the BF's house. He's closer to my new job, which I start tomorrow, and we want to watch Tivo'd Survivor Finale so I gotsta run!!!

Later friendlies!

Hurry Up and Wait!

Damn, it's raining outside today. Rain always makes me feel gloomy and tired. I do love the rain on a summer day on a lazy afternoon, but today is not a lazy afternoon for me!

In truth, I am exhausted after the BF wore my ass out last night! WHEW! That man knows how to turn me inside out!

But today, I need my energy. I'm supposed to be packing and cleaning, but I cannot bring myself to do it!

What is wrong with me? I know I'm on a deadline, but I just can't force it!

I think I am a waste of human flesh sometimes. I guess I'm just lazy, but the task ahead of me seems so daunting. Considering where my stress level is I guess I just keep pulling back from the task at hand.

I'm a pack rat.

That, dear friends, is the problem. Why this task IS so daunting to me.

I am getting rid of everything I don't need.

If you are also a pack rat you know that getting rid of things is hard because you always imagine you'll need something down the road and try to hold onto it.

Inevitably that always seems to be what happens to me.

But, I'm going to just do this and fughettaboutit!

Hopefully, my next post will be about how much work I've done and that I'm either done or nearly done.

Pray for a procrastinating bitch!

Now I Lay Me...Wait, That's HIS Job.

Today I left my job.

What a friggin' load off my mind!

Now I just have to get us packed and moved by May 31st, but I need to get out of my apartment at least a week before that.

We have a trip to Chattanooga planned next Sunday thru Tuesday for D's work. I really should stay home, but we haven't had a trip together for a while. I may have to prioritize the packing/moving over the trip, but D can't. It's a convention for him. He has to go...I was kind of looking forward to laying by the pool too!

Well, I'm just happy that we have a place to live and things will start slowing down in about 2 weeks. D is bringing his daughter back for a couple of weeks before she starts college this fall. He and I have not shared with either his daughter or our son that either exists. J doesn't know yet about D being his biological pop and his therapist believes now is not the time to tell him. He thinks we should wait a couple of weeks or so.

So, I figure waiting may piss J off. I may be wrong, but he already loathes me so it isn't going to really hurt our relationship any. I just don't want to deal with ugly fighting and dramatic, teen angst!!

Okay, I'm about to pass out at my pc. I think I gotsta bolt to my boudois so that I may rest my sleepy head upon my fabulous pillow so that I may dream of my 90 inch HDTV and being ravished by my sex hound BF.

YUMMY!

Tootles my lovelies!

House shopping....Done.

The title says it all. We found an amazing deal on a 4BR, 3BA house with a media room that includes a 90 inch projection HDTV flat screen t.v. The freaky part is that this house just went on the market yesterday. We act fast, huh!

The one catch, I have to drive farther to my new job. I'll be on the road at least an hour to get to work each morning. I'm going to try to negotiate a work from home day, maybe two, simply because the drive is at least 12 miles farther than it would be if D and I lived in his little apartment.

I'll live, no complaints. I'm just glad we have a plan of action!

Forgive me as I'm sure there will be a few gaps in my posting and commenting as I begin a new job and try to pack my apartment up and move out this weekend as my lease is up and then move into the new house by May 31. I promise to be much more productive in my blog visiting and posting once May has commenced.

Can't WAIT for May to commence!!! I could use a breather.

More changes! Holy Hell!

Okay, now, instead of trying to get into a rental by the end of May, we are trying to buy a house and close on it by June 1st.

How.

Fucking.

Insane.

That means we have to find a house and put a bid on it and have it accepted by Friday....OF THIS WEEK!!!

Stress? Oh yah, it just got ratcheted up several notches at once.

Holy hell!

How about some cheese to go with that whine???

I have to start this post by apologizing to all my blog pals. I have been so busy and overwhelmed by my life lately and have had a difficult time posting let alone commenting on my favorite blogger’s posts. I have been remiss and I must tell you all that it is SO not personal and to please forgive a bitch for having way to fucking much on her plate!

Here’s a quick run down so you understand where I’m coming from and will, perhaps, forgive this biatch!

1. Had to put my kid, J, into a partial hospitalization treatment program for severe clinical depression and drug abuse (marijuana to be exact). He was using to cope with his depression. We were not getting along at all and he was refusing to go to school and flunking out. So, I’m withdrawing him from school this week while he works this program all day, every day.
2. Just found out that D (my boyfriend) really IS my son’s birth father. Long story, but by process of elimination between the 3 different boyfriends I had (Didn't date them all at once, but I know it sounds like I'm a HO!) during that time in college, he came out the loser in the baby daddy lottery. Or maybe winner. Guess it just depends on how you look at it. Anyway, he’s about to end his child support obligation to his daughter’s mother as she turns 18 next month. J turns 16 next month as well. I don’t know if I'm going to insiste that he pay child support at this time because we are moving in together very soon so it might work out for all of us and save us all money in the end as well as help them develop a relationship, which currently doesn’t really exist (I'll insist on some arrangement, just not sure what yet). D is afraid to put all of this on J while he’s working through his issues, but I wonder if it wouldn’t help him to know that he has a dad who is interested in actually becoming his DAD. I'll be speaking to his psychiatrist about it later this week, but I’m open to opinions on this one people…speak up…PLEASE.
3. I am starting my new job a week from tomorrow (Monday). I have SO much shit to wrap up with my accounts and my work that I don’t know if I’ll get it all done by Thursday which is my last day of work. The good news is that I’m apparently loved by all at my office as they are all very unhappy that I’m leaving (I am comic relief as well as “one of the boys” with my guy pals at work). My co-worker Mike has set up a big Bon Voyage luncheon on Wednesday and invited everyone on our floor as well as the department and about all but 3 people have RSVP’d. I predict that I will cry like a frickin’ baby.
4. I was supposed to be moving out of my apartment and into D’s this weekend, while moving my son into my parents house for the summer, where he requested to stay to get some space from me. I am just in the beginning packing stages because I’ve been so damned busy, but I’m trashing a ton of stuff. I’m not moving stuff into storage that I will never look at again. I plan on moving light! My dad is having a hissy because I’m just starting to pack. He has NEVER packed my stuff for me or even helped pack, but he has helped me move, just not the last 3 or 4 moves. I don’t know what he’s freaking out about. He’s not involved at all and I don’t plan on involving him. Now things have changed. Long story, but some 21 year old girl is staying in D's landlord's spare room which is adjacent to D's room/studio apartment. His daughter was going to stay there in 3 weeks when she comes to visit, but now, with this 21 year old party girl who is OH SO NOT BRIGHT staying in that room too, we are going to have to find a house ASAP to move into before May 31 when I am to be completely out of my apartment. We have a great prospect about 3 doors down from the house he lives in now, but now we I won't be saving money for the summer. Really no need since I won't be moving into a place of my own with J. I guess the universe works in mysterious ways. Still, lots to do before the end of the month!
   
   

Okay, that’s all happening this week, J is already in the treatment program though (he started last Friday).

My back still is hurting, but it’s getting better I think. I’m sure it’ll be a helluva lot worse while I move this weekend. J & D are going to have to move the heavy stuff, there’s no way I’ll be able to lift the heavy things with my back and shoulders in such sorry fucking shape. I went to the doctor on Thursday and she’s testing me for everything under the sun. I’ll find out Monday if I have anything that might be causing this pain. I would love to have a diagnosis of something that is easy managed or cured. So far, I’ve not been that lucky with PCOS, diabetes and Adenomyosis. All diseases without cures, except Adenomyosis can be cured with a hysterectomy. We’ll see if I go that route in the next few months as May is my last month under the Lupron therapy that has put me in temporary menopause to control the pain of Adenomyosis. Truly what is probably causing my pain is my mattress that is almost as old as J, as well as massive amounts of stress from work and the fact that I'm one chunky monkey. My weight would put stress on anybody's bones/joints/muscles. I have tried every diet and exercise program out there and I have not been consistently successful. I'm thinking I may have to go the gastric bypass route. I'll keep you updated on that one.

Gawd! I am such a whiner!!! I hope to fix that sitch very soon too. I do not like being a complainer, but I wanted ya’ll to know that I was NOT ignoring anyone, on the contrary. I have just had so much on my plate to deal with and now I’m blogging about it. I need to find something fun and exciting to blog about.

I suck.

In case you were wondering, this is what I feel like...

in scrambled peices....

Ah, The Joys Of Being Me

So I'm back at my desk with my old friend 4:00 AM staring me in the face. I don't know what it is about me or 4AM that it loves me so much. This is the time I wake up in the middle of the night each time I end up awake for an hour or so. I don't know why. Freaks me out to say the least.

I don't know what to talk about tonight. I've had a few things happen in my life these past few days. I'm over stressed and exhausted from all the goings on. I put my notice in at work last week, but I'm not allowed to tell my most hated customer. The sales manager for this account wants it kept on the DL from them. She had to hire a new account manager and he doesn't start until the Monday after I'm outtie. I guess she doesn't want them freaking because I've been putting 150% toward their needs (the fucking bastards are NEEDY) and they won't get that with anyone else. That, my friends, is a guaran-fucking-tee. My reputation at work is stellar, and I'm not tooting my own horn. I'm known as the "go-to gal" at work. By EVERYONE. People I don't know in our huge ass company (60K employees) call me and say, "I hear your the one who can tell me how to do X, Y & Z for this customer). Oh yah. That's a daily occurrence. I have had to learn how to do just about everything in my position on a trial and error basis. God forbid anybody else just figure it out for themselves. Nobody fucking helped me. Okay, that's not true. I have a great friend in Denver who is on our IT reporting team and he rocks like nobody's bizness. He is MY "go-to guy" when I absolutely cannot build a query to get account or reporting details I need. The database I'm allowed to use is limited, but I do miracles with that bitch. However, there are times when my buddy Jimmy comes to my rescue and pulls a friggin' miracle outta his sweet, gay ass. He is the MAN! It's true dudes, you don't have to be straight to be THE MAN! He is definitely THE MAN.

I have been to the chiropractor, the massage therapist, and my PCP in the last 3 days. I am in so much pain with my back, and my shoulders. The ball joints in my shoulders have begun to sound "crunchy" and "crackley" when I move my arms. My mid and upper back between my shoulder blades and my lower back hurt so fucking bad that I'm crying more than I'm not from the pain. My PCP gave me some painkiller I've never heard of. I forgot to ask her for an anti-inflammatory and she didn't offer. I think that would help just as much as a painkiller at this point. Anyway, I told her all of the symptoms I've been experiencing and she's testing me for every autoimmune disease and anything else she can think of. I personally think I have fibromyalgia. I have about 90% of the symptoms that comprise the disease. All I know is that my musculoskeletal pain is getting to me. BADLY. I am always in pain. I get up in the morning more tired than when I went to bed the night before. My feet hurt so bad when I get out of bed and I can hardly walk. Forget about standing up straight when I get out of bed...I walk like an 80 year old woman. That lasts for about 10 minutes, then I am able to move somewhat more easily. But my back hurts continually through-out the day. It's EXTREME pain too. I'm working while I deal with it, but I'm seriously about to lose it. I'm almost to the point where I'm ready to admit myself to the hospital for exhaustion and testing and a BIG break from work. I start my new job on May 15th. I hope my doc can figure out what is wrong with me before that and get me started on some drug therapy or some physical therapy that will make me feel a shitload better by then, or at least start me on the road to better health. At this point, I'm considering some radical things to make myself feel better (more on that in a couple of weeks).

On a more, disgusting note. I've been trying to teach my kid a few lessons about cleaning up after himself, but the shit backfired on my ass. I refused to wash his dishes or put them in the dishwasher. I want him to do it for himself. He's turning 16 next month so it is ridiculous to me that he considers me his MAID to do everything for him. So, I stopped cleaning up after him for the last week.

Big.
Mistake.

I had to clean up the shit tonight, because he didn't touch it. The dishes got MAGGOTS on them and I FA-REAKED! I almost vomited while cleaning everything up. Now I feel like I have creepy crawlies all over me! It's not such a lovely feeling.

I would NEVER have cleaned it up if it hadn't gotten so bad, but I cannot live that way. When he saw the maggots he bolted out of the kitchen and acted like he was scared of them. I told him I would expect his 110% cooperation going forward on all cleaning duties and that I'd better not find any dishes lying around either in his room or my kitchen sink or I'd put them in his bed. How fucking disgusting! He also is supposed to be cleaning his room on a regular basis and his bathroom too. He is supposed to do his own laundry, but he's learned that if he doesn't have any clean underwear he can't go to school. I advised him that, clean underwear or not, he would be going to school. NO excuses. He wouldn't let me into his bathroom to clean it when I knew he had not (we're moving and I'm trying to get things clean and orderly before we move) He kept saying "I'll clean it, I'll clean it." I kept saying "fine, clean that bitch before I get my hands on it." I found out why he didn't want me in there...accidentally of course. His room was locked and I couldn't get him to answer the door. So I got a bread knife to unlock the door, but he wasn't in his room. It appeared he was in his bathroom, the light was on and the door was closed. I knocked and knocked, but no answer. I started to get concerned so I used the bread knife to unlock his bathroom door hoping I wouldn't find him passed out on the floor with his wrists slit or anything else I was SO not prepared for. Thank goddess, no kid at all, but I came face to face with a nasty-ass bathroom and a plant on the back of his toilet with a light shining down on it. Did he have a school experiment I was unaware of? A green thumb he was nurturing? Wait, that isn't....no fucking way...it can't fucking BE....OH, that little shit!! Yep, it was pot. My 15, almost 16, year old kid has been growing a fucking pot plant in his bathroom. Yep, this mother was clueless. I thought he was just embarrassed by how dirty it was and didn't want to hear me bitch at him for that. I'm an idiot. A Total. Fucking. Idiot. Say it with me.

Total.

Fucking.

Idiot.

Needless to say, I have taken control of that situation, but I'm still not in complete control here. My son is slovenly and very much a slacker. I did not raise him to be a loser. I worked hard with him to try to get him to be a responsible person and stay away from drugs, alcohol and hoochie mamas. We talk often about the importance of doing the right thing and about his future. I'm not about to let my kid become one of those bachelor's who NEVER do dishes or clean up after himself. He'll never get a girlfriend/wife if he doesn't start taking responsibility for his own hygiene beyond his body. Plus, I don't want to have a 30 year old living with me who has no job, no prospects, no education. I'm gonna have to do the tough love thing with him.

I don't think he's going to graduate highschool. He's failing everything because he refuses to go to school and he won't do the makeup work. He's turning 16 in June so, legally, he can quit school and not go back in the fall. As much as I hate to do this, (I'm so tired and so exhausted and my health seems to be failing me) I'm going to offer him a solution to both our problems. Take the GED and then A) Join the Navy or Airforce, or B) move out and find his own job/own place ASAP because I am NOT supporting his ass if he has no ambitions to actually have a life with a future that does not include his mother supporting him.

Do I sound like an unreasonable mother? I don't fucking think so and neither would you if you had to put up with his bullshit reasoning and disgusting hygiene habits. I'm fucking fed up. I don't deserve the shit I get from him when he knows the pain I'm dealing with and how stressed I am trying to wrap up shit with my current job, all the while working with my asshole customer who won't let up, not for a minute. I'm working 12 hour workdays and it's going to put me into an early grave, but he's also an accessory to that. I refuse to be my like my parents, taking in my little sister, pretty much her entire life. She has lived on her own probably a total of 1 year of her 32 years. She did manage to get married to the biggest loser ever created, only to get pregnant with her second child as soon as she got married (if you don't have my baby you don't love me situation) and her first child was born to less of a loser, but still she's alone without his help other than child support garnished from his paycheck. My parents, in their retirement years now, have had my little sister and her two kids living with them for several years now. My sister doesn't drive (long story, but 2 DUI's and mental health issues are involved) and my mother, with horrible vein problems in her legs and other threatening health issues, takes care of her kids (who are now 14 and 9) while my sister works a low paying job. My mom has been chauferring my sister and taking care of her and her kids since all 3 were born. I refuse to do that for my son, J. I'm just not going to enable him to live his slovenly, lazy way in my home. As my pops always used to say, "it's my way, or the highway," and I fucking mean it.

It ain't happening anymore.

Okay, I'm done ranting for now.