Ms. M:

Running With Scissors

September 16, 2006


So my muthah got me a great new fleece robe while I was in the hospital. It's a light minty green, very plush and awesome!

The boyfriend has commandeered it. He looks lovely in it too.

Oh well.

Since I just recently got to start eating again, my sphincter got a reprieve from its "duties" for a few days. Unfortunately you would have thought I'd never taken a dump before. The first and second time I had to drop the kids off at the pool I swear I ripped myself a new one. And I didn't do a huge log people. It was nothing unusual. Both were competely NORMAL. I think my butt hymen just decided to grow back. Is that possible?


At 9/16/2006 8:12 PM , Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

No pictures of the dump?

At 9/16/2006 10:38 PM , Blogger Nihilistic said...

LOL - Butt hymen...

At 9/17/2006 10:56 AM , Blogger NuggetMaven said...

I agree with Mr. Fabby, or at least a pic of your rectum, post-butt hymenization.

Metamucil capsules, prophylactically; fish oil caps. That oughta help the stoolage.

At 9/20/2006 2:44 AM , Blogger DogMa said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9/20/2006 2:45 AM , Blogger DogMa said...

I can't remember if I have ever been consitpated. Nope. Never. I got the exact opposite problem. Especially when I am in the hospital. I had to have butt surgery cause I wiped myself raw with their sand paper. I mean toilet paper.

p.s. I have a minty fleece robe to that I can get back from my old man! WEIRD!

Well it was fun talking shop with ya! GOTTA RUN! (get it?)

At 9/20/2006 12:49 PM , Blogger J R Estelle said...

2 words magnesium citrate

At 9/22/2006 11:42 AM , Blogger Ms. M said...

Mr.F: I'm not that into sharing. Sorry!

nihilistic: Is it reattachable??

nuggetmaven: I've resorted to a more natural method. Prunes, baby, prunes! Still waiting for them to do their magic. I'll let you know how it all "comes out."

dogma: It's so rare that I'm constipated that I can count on one hand how many times it's happened to me. I usually am a 2X's a day-er. My meds usuallly make it so I have to RUN to the john or risk the ruination of fine clothing. At work, that's a real bitch.

j r estelle: I've taken that actually. I had exploratory pelvic surgery and my doc made me drink it. Not so tasty, but it sure works. Explosion anyone?


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