Ms. M:

Running With Scissors

April 30, 2006

Skirts so short your ass sticks to the pew in the summertime

This morning D and I went to IHOP for breakfast. Tried to beat the church crowd so we went in around 10AM.

There were lots of families and groups waiting to be seated already, but many more were pouring in. I think my eyes bugged out of my head when I saw a hoochy mama dressed in her finest slut attire for church! A young Hispanic family walked into IHOP with 5, count 'em, FIVE children, all ranging in age from infant to 7 years of age. Busy couple! But, what really got me was that this woman walks in, her whole family dressed in their Sunday best, but what does this little mother decide to wear to church to worship? She had on a tight, hot pink, lowcut rayon/spandex shirt, a tighter, pink/black leopard print micro-mini skirt, but the capper was her "come fuck me" strappy sandals. Stilettos to say the least! Good GAWD almighty! I bet the old women cringe and the old men drool when this gal walks in. I'm sure she picked a nice, noticeable spot down front so she could make an 'entrance.'

I suppose it sounds as though I'm being judgemental. D, being ever on top of what I say, had to let me know that I was being judgmental when I mentioned her church attire. I responded that I would never go to church in something where my tits might fall out or my ass checks might show. The old biddies would have me for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, plus I could be excommunicated for showing my body in a manner in which to elicit impure thoughts! The HORROR! I also mentioned that it is disrepectful to fellow worshipers, especially the women who don't want or need their husbands checkin' out her goodies.

D is not a church person, nor am I. I grew up Catholic, but since I have gotten older and wiser, I have decided that church is for those masses who wish to give up a portion of their salary and believe in something they cannot prove exists. Sounds suspiciously like a cult or brainwashing doesn't it???

Strangely enough another hispanic family, this time with four children under five, came in a couple of minutes later and THAT mother was wearing a short, tight micro-mini in pink and black too, only, if I were this mother I would NEVER have been wearing that skirt! She apparently was still carrying a lot of baby weight in her belly cause it was pulling pretty tightly at that skirt. Now, as a big woman, I do not wear anything so tight that it shows any unsightly bulges. I don't wear tents or unflattering clothes, but I also don't wear stretchy, tight skirts and extra tight, low cut tops that reveal whether or not I'm feeling a breeze. I'll wear low cut, just not terribly tight.

Do I sound judgmental? I know I must. I'm just wondering how much the church has changed since I left it. The overwhelming of our country by the right wing, Evangelical Christo-Republicans (my dad coined that phrase) leads me to believe that the country is becoming more provincial and less tolerant of people wearing what they want, especially to church. Judging from what these two young mothers were wearing I would appear the opposite were true.

Now, I do not believe in organized religion. I suppose I do believe in a higher power, but because I grew up in the Catholic Church, I cannot fathom anyone wearing hoochy mama clothing to worship/mass. Come on! That's gossip fodder for sure. And it would surely merit a stern talking to from the priest or an angry nun, not to mention the old biddies giving you the stank eye or bearing their dentures at ya! Wearing that kind of clothing would make for a busy confessional after church. No doubt about it!

Let the women wear what they want. They're the ones who have to hear about it when it's all said and done. If I looked good in a short skirt I might consider wearing it to, not to church-if I went-but maybe out to a club or a party. I was just shocked to see "Your Sunday Best" be something out of Frederick's of Hollywood in this era of extreme, conservative Christian values currently overtaking our country.

Perhaps I'll try a social experiment and actually go back to church. I'll wear a short, tight skirt, with 6 inch hooker heels and a low cut, cleavage busting shirt. I can guarantee you I would be asked not to return unless I wear respectable clothing. 'Respectable' in the eyes of the church is a dress or loose skirt below the knees, loose fitting shirt up to the neck or collar bone, flat or low heeled shoes, perferrably close toed. Not kidding here. In my old congregation you do NOT show up in anything revealing. You'd be asked to attend in the outter lobby area where mothers with crying children are forced to sit so they do not disturb mass.

Is it any wonder why I don't belong to the Catholic Church anymore?

12 Comments:

At 5/01/2006 9:24 AM , Blogger Webmiztris said...

I grew up in a primarily all Roman Catholic town. I was always so glad I wasn't one of 'them'! and regarding the hoochie outfits at church....nasty! is the priest hot or something?

 
At 5/01/2006 10:16 AM , Blogger mikster said...

Too many people leave home without looking in the mirror and realizing what perception they're giving off.

 
At 5/01/2006 7:57 PM , Blogger Maven said...

Even the fashion-challenged hoochie-mamas need salvation, too.

There is no accounting for poor taste in clothing. And here's a novel notion, perhaps there is a connection to the supersluttopia clothing and the amount of children? Super short skirts = Easy access to the hoochie-hatch.

 
At 5/02/2006 6:13 AM , Blogger Ms. M said...

webmiztris, priests aren't hot. It's a rule. At least by the time they would get to my church they were old and pruny.

mike, truer words were never spoken.

Mr. F, I think lost of babies get dropped on their heads leading to this epidemic of lack of common sense and poor judgement!

Nugget, I think you've hit upon something there! I almost choked when I read "hootchie hatch!"

 
At 5/02/2006 11:19 AM , Blogger Jerrster said...

ummm...how about this Divine Ms. M ...you dress up for church and snap me a pic...and I'll promise to try my new soap for you.

:::smile:::

you first, that will give me inspiration.

 
At 5/02/2006 1:24 PM , Blogger Maven said...

Ms. M., you have given me a whole new idea for a line of porn involving the priesthood:

Cocks-N-Cassocks I think it would be a big hit, don't you?

 
At 5/03/2006 3:50 PM , Blogger wilde_thought said...

LOL. The hoochie mamma, church outfit is definitely a cultural thing. I suspect she's a latina from Puerto Rico or somewhere from South America. Cuba, even? Parts of Mexico are just too reserved to think she came from there.

Our local barbershop once employed a latin grandmother who was in her 50's. She cut hair wearing a curve fitting, low cut top that threatened to reveal her DD mammaries. I sat holding my son in my lap for his haircut from her. She hovered around my face cutting my two year old's hair.

For a week I fell asleep with the thought of those ponderous breasts. I definitely slept with a smile on my face. Not all grandmothers are built the same.

 
At 5/04/2006 3:03 AM , Blogger Ms. M said...

Jerry, Hey there, is that soap on a rope?

Nugget, "Cocks and Cassocks" You always come up with the best titles! How DO you DO IT??

Widle, Hoochie Mama mammaries do it for you? You didn't, perhaps, lose your virginity to a Mrs. Robinson type did you??

 
At 5/04/2006 3:04 AM , Blogger Ms. M said...

Wilde, obviously I'm talking about Hoochie grandmama mammaries!

 
At 5/04/2006 6:39 AM , Blogger Kelly said...

I always wear hot pink micro minis and come fuck me stilettos to church.

What is wrong with you?

*ting*

 
At 5/04/2006 9:36 PM , Blogger Jerrster said...

no it's not on a rope...unless once it's been put on and you would want to play pull-toy.

 
At 5/08/2006 8:14 AM , Blogger phlegmfatale said...

y'know - by all means, let people wear what they want, but when someone wears something whorish or ill-fitting, they are inviting impertinent comments. Stripper attire is not appropriate for church. And for gawd's sake, that first one already has five trophies to prove she has sex - why does she need to advertise further? Tard.

 

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