A, B, C, D, DD, DDD, BOOBIES

Awwww, these poor, poor, women. Pfffft!

THEIR BRA CUPS RUNNETH OVER

By STEFANIE COHEN and TODD VENEZIA

March 31, 2006 -- 3 CLAIM BOOB DOC D-FORMED THEM
Three angry women claim an Upper East Side plastic-surgeon-to-the-stars turned them into freaks by stuffing massive, Pamela Anderson-sized breast implants into their chests when they wanted only modest boob jobs. (modest? if you get boob jobs you want to get noticed!)

The women say the mammary monstrosities (aka Boobie Beasts) installed by Dr. Brad Jacobs nearly caused their bosoms to explode and the surgery left their breasts deformed, ribs aching and nipples swollen.

"I wanted to leave with a 34B - but the day after my surgery, I was
huge," said Felice Rosenbaum, of Manhattan, who claims her B-cup breasts were
inflated to a whopping double-D. "I was horrified," she said. "I went into
my closet and I couldn't button anything. I couldn't look at myself. I became
extremely depressed."

Jacobs' lawyer, John Jankoff, called the allegations "completely baseless."
(or braless)

"Dr Jacobs has performed over 11,000 breast-implant procedures since
1995. He has literally thousands of satisfied clients," he said.

Rosenbaum joined fellow plaintiffs Iolanda Rodriguez, 34, of Staten
Island, and Cornelia Ion, 27, of Queens, to talk about the trio of malpractice
suits they filed against Jacobs. Each woman claimed he installed implants that
would have made better beach balls than breasts. (what about melons?)

"We had an agreement he would not go too large," said Ion, who describes
herself as a "dancer" born with a B-cup. "I made it very clear to him that I did
not want to be a double-D. I'm a double-D now."

Ion said the surgery left the side of her breasts radically deformed
and the area around her nipples indented. (she could eat off her own breast!)

Shockingly, Jacobs made her pay another $6,000 for two operations to
fix the original botched surgery, she said, which failed. (UH, is that legal??)

Rodriguez, a homemaker, said she originally got D-cup implants. But
when she went back to the doctor to repair a leak in the devices, she claimed,
he took them out and put in even bigger implants.

"I was a small D - now I'm a double-D, nearly a triple-D," she said. "I
didn't want them bigger, I wanted them repaired because they were leaking."
(Got Milk?)

Rosenbaum said that after Jacobs inflated her B-cup chest into a
double-D, her wounds started opening. "The skin started separating," she said.
"It started to eat away at my areola."

A year ago, a jury awarded $130,000 in damages to a patient who got
silicone implants, not saline, put in by Jacobs, whose celebrity patients
include Playboy Playmate Courtney Culkin.

In 2001, one of his most famous clients, singer Brenda Kay Starr, sued
him for a botched implant - but that time, a jury found him not liable.

Rosenbaum said she thinks Jacobs is obsessed with large breasts.
(Hello?? He's a MAN!)

"His dream is for every woman to have a D cup," she said.

Additional reporting by Lukas I. Alpert
stefanie.cohen @nypost.com