A year has passed....

I can't believe it's been a whole year since I've posted anything on my blog. How lame am I? Well,...very I guess.

So much has happened this past year. I've been hospitalized a couple of times and had a surgery. I changed jobs and my boyfriend took a job out of state so I'm lonely. So is he. Life's a bitch...whatdya do?

One of my buds, a blogger herself, has been sending me the links to the grossest things I've ever seen. OMG. I'll never eat again.

But, I must apologize for to those of you who used to read my blog on a regular basis. I'm afraid I fell off the internet for awhile. I've been a busy little bee and have just had no time! I have some good posts coming up but I need some time to compose them and I have a few uploads that are going to be good as well.

So, if you have been coming here for the last year and have not seen anything from me, be patient a few days more. Things are going to change...

I'm back....for now.

Stay tuned....

Top 10 reasons to hate my job

1. It's a job isn't it?
2. Not enough people to do the mountains of work.
3. Training is one of my thousands of responsibilities, but who will train me??
4. Time? Where can I find it? There is no time to even use the restroom!
5. Stress from HELL.
6. I need surgery and I keep pushing it out because I am so 'needed' at work, my absense might make this place crumble.
7. Evil beotch or two that seem to think the place would fall apart without them. WHATEVER.
8. I have to drive 50 miles both way to and from work! Not so sure it's worth it.
9. There is no stability in my daily routine, it changes as often as I blink my frickin' eyes!
10. I'm WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY underpaid at the moment. Negotiating a raise will probably get me laughed at.

Playstation III, The Silent Killer

What is the world coming to?

People rioting or getting shot just trying to buy a freaking Playstation 3. I refuse to spend $500+ to get one. It would just give my kid even more of an excuse to never leave the house.

I find it hard to believe that people are waiting in line for days to get one of these things. Unfortunately it shows the level of materialism that this country has sunk to. We are all about "things." I hate to admit that I love my things too and I would love to have some new things, but I just can't justify spending large amounts of money on gadgets that will take my attention (or my son's) away from those I care about and my priorities. It's nuts.

Don't get me wrong, escaping from reality for a while is nice, but not at the expense of your real life.

I came across this little news report this morning on Yahoo.

1 shot in Conn. Playstation waiting line

PUTNAM, Conn. - Two armed thugs tried to rob a line of people waiting
to buy the new Playstation 3 gaming console early Friday and shot one who
refused to give up the money, authorities said.

The two confronted 15 to 20 people who were in line outside a Wal-Mart
store shortly after 3 a.m. and demanded money, said Lt. J. Paul Vance, a
spokesman for the state police. The new Sony consoles are selling for around
$500 to $600.

"One of the patrons resisted. That patron was shot," Vance said.

Crazy shit, huh?

Do any of you watch South Park? There was recently a two-part episode where Eric Cartman was going insane waiting for the Nintendo Wii (wee). He can't stand that he has to wait until mid November to get this new gaming system so he has his friend "Butters" help bury him in the snow in the mountains, freezing himself until the day they come out so he won't be forced to endure the agony of waiting and anticipation for this stupid gaming console. Butters is supposed to dig him up and thaw him out on the day they come out. Unfortunately for Cartman, an avalanche occurs, burying him for 500 years.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators and writers of South Park, obviously see this freakish obsession with gaming consoles the same way I do. It's fucked up. If it wasn't, those two would certainly not poke fun at the issue.

The Nintendo Wii doesn't come out until November 19th. I'm sure there are folks standing in line at Best Buy or Wal-Mart right now, waiting to get theirs. Meanwhile, our troops are getting killed in Iraq, we have a moron for a president, Madonna is adopting African children and global warming is killing off the coral in the Great Barrier Reef.

Ok, the Madonna thing isn't such a travesty. My bad.

What are your thoughts on the craziness these stupid, fucking game consoles are causing? What are your thoughts on the ridiculous rioting and robberies occurring in the lines of those waiting to purchase these over-priced, soon to be obsolete, boxes of wires and circuits?

Come on...tell me.

Freud would have a field day with me...

I'm sending my kid to a shrink.

He's 16 years old and he's decided he doesn't HAVE to go to school anymore legally. So he sleeps all day and plays his guitar all night. Nothing I say or do seems to be fixing the sitch so I'm praying that this head shrinker can help!

Anyone else out there have issues with their boys at this age? DAMN! he's wearing this bitch out! I try to be understanding, but the kid thinks he's going to be a rock star. Seriously. He figures he doesn't need an education. But he has graciously agreed to get his GED. Wow.

His new therapist gave me a homework assignment. Write my son's life story. But he wanted it in 3 to 4 pages. I couldn't shrink it any smaller than 6. I even kept cutting things out, but there are things he needs to know. He wants a good picture of my son so I tried to give it to him. But, in order to give a good picture he needs to know the background of some things. The preface, if you will. I also have to get his records from his previous therapist & psychiatrist. Haven't had a chance to do that yet so he might get slightly peeved at a bitch for not being able to follow through completely!

All I can say is that I can't wait for Friday. Me and D are heading to West Palm Beach for an extended weekend getaway! This is much needed, believe me! I have been working my fat ass off (wish that it really worked to remove fat from my huge bootie!) and my weekends are busy as Hell doing everything I don't get done during the week so I'm fried like a egg! I'm SOOO looking forward to rest. I need it, deserve it, crave it, desire it. I won't get another break until probably late spring or summer of next year. As it is, I'm not even taking a week off, just a Friday & Monday around a weekend so I don't miss too much. I guarantee that even while I'm on vacation I will be getting phone calls and emails from work needing my assistance. It sucks to be the one to make everything happen. You never get a break.

Strange how my job seems to be 24/7. I thought only motherhood was supposed to be that way. Maybe I'm the one who should be in therapy!!!

Whatdya Mean You Need More Pancake (tits)?

Well, I have to have another mammogram. Only on the left side. Turns out I have a suspicious lump that they need to further scrutinize. Just what I need. More issues, more health trouble.

It could be nothing, probably just a lymph node, but they have to check it out again to get a better view of what is really going on.

It sucks that the docs and nurses can scare people like this when it could be absolutely nothing.

They told me I needed to get back in ASAP for another mammogram, take the next available appointment. So, I made one, but the earliest I could get in is the 16th (next Monday). My boss, MSC, wants me to move this appointment to the end of that week or even later and do it in the afternoon instead of the morning. Unfortunately, the follow-ups are only done between 9:30 and 10:30 on specific mornings of the week so they can be distinguished between other appointments for screening. Too bad, so sad MSC.

I am surprised that she even asked me to do such a thing knowing that, for some odd reason, I've had one health crisis after another lately. I just want to be healthy goddammit!

Why am I always getting shitty news from doctors?

I have been giving my health a lot of thought lately. I'm only 36, but I didn't start getting diagnosed with "stuff" until I turned 30. It's almost like a magic switch was flipped and now my disease DNA came into play. I don't get it. Why couldn't all this crap have waited until I was in my 50's or 60's like everyone elses shit does? Well, most everyone. I guess I'm just one unlucky bitch healthwise.

Oh well.

To assist in my health, I've enlisted the help of a Super Diet, a 3 day diet that, combined with 4 days of moderate eating can cause up to 10 lbs of weight loss. I started it last week and lost 5 lbs. I was thrilled that it worked so well! So, I got D to do it with me. The lunches are pretty small so I'm sure he's gonna hate this diet, but if he sees results I bet he jumps on the bandwagon and kicks it into high gear.

Speaking of high gear, we walked last night and I discovered just how shitty of shape I'm really in! Cardio? I hate it. I loathe it. I DESPISE it! I'll live. I told him we have to ramp up to the really fast paced stuff. We jumped right into hills and my calves hurt today.

We went to our county's Fair & Festival on Saturday and rode this ride call the Moon Rocket. It's a circle that is really more of a small roller coaster. It starts you off where you go a quarter of the way up, then back, then half way round, then back, then all the way around several times. The problem is that there is hang time when you're at the top, hanging upside down. It's not so comfy to have that pressure on you. Plus, I held on so tight my biceps almost cramped up and now they kind of hurt. No use will do that I guess. After riding that ride first we didn't ride any more rough rides. Fun as it was, we stuck to the ferris wheel and the buckets that transport you above the fair from one end to the other.

I discovered I don't do so good with heights. I feel very vulnerable. What is up with getting old? I used to be fearless! Now I guess my own mortality has hit me and I'm afraid that I could die doing just about everything. Not such a good way to be I'd say.

I'm a fucking fraidy cat!

DAMN!

I took my son to his annual Shriner's appointment today. We had a 7AM appointment in Greenville, SC (2 hour drive from ATL) and normally I would get up and drive it in the morning, but my normal appointments are usually 9AM. I wasn't about to get my ass out of bed at 4AM to drive 2 hours or so to Greenville! So we drove up last night and stayed in a hotel.

My son has been a Shriner patient since he was seven. He's got a leg length discrepancy which we've been seeing Shriner doctors for since 1997. He had surgery to stop the growth of the longer leg at the growth plate below the knee when he was 13 in 2003. We just go for follow-ups annually now to see if the surgery did its job.

IT DID!!!

Today we got the news that instead of the expected 4 cm difference between the tibias/fibulas if we hadn't done surgery, he now only has a 1 mm difference! I am WAY excited by this. He's worn lifts in his shoes for years, but after this surgery and his pubescent growth spurt he's got near identical length legs. It's AMAZING! I just didn't think I'd ever see his legs be the same length.

To be fair, he still has a little bit of deformity in his left leg. He was a 10 lb baby when he was born and I'm not a very big person to be delivering a 10 lb baby! So, he got so crowded in utero that his left leg started to curve with the wall of the uterus as he kept getting bigger. So his knee was contorted and his leg curved to a near 45 degree angle at birth, plus his left foot would flip up so the top of the foot would hit his knee. It was freaky!

He's grown out of it so much. His bones are straight and his foot is normal, the knee is still a tad contorted looking, but you hardly notice it unless you are looking for it.

So, I'm happy. Mark it on your calenders people.

In a related story, we stopped at Hooter's for dinner last night on our way up to Greenville. We pass this fucking Hooter's every time we drive to Greenville, and every time we do, since the kid was 7, he has asked to stop and eat there, and I always have said no. Of course he eventually admitted it was to SEE the hooters on the servers. I knew this all along of course, but the BF convinced me that I was being ridiculous for not taking him there. I just thought it would look tacky for a mother to take her small child there (he's not so small anymore!). But, D says that he has seen families eating there so I decided I WAS being ridiculous for not taking him there. It wasn't to protect him so much as that I generally did not care to eat the greasy food and be waited on by some chick in orange hot pants.

I was right, the food was so greasy that my gut was churning all night. I had a lovely night's sleep on a shitty mattress in a crappy hotel close to the hospital. Jack enjoyed checking out the teeny, tiny girls in teeny, tiny orange shorts and tight white tank tops. I've never seen such small girls in my life! I was under the impression that bodies so small were on children, not women. Perhaps these chicks really were children with stuffed bras and Hooter's uses slave labor???

Hoooo knows?

Sorry for the play on words...

Don't you think it's time for Hooter's to change their frickin' uniforms for their servers? I mean, these shorts look so Disco. Plus, it was freezing in there, I'm sure to assist the servers in receiving better tips from their male customers. But, give the chicks some sleeves for fuck's sake! CHEESIS H KROIST! Frigid temps were enough to make me want to eat and run! Too fuckin' cold in that joint!

So how has your week been? Seen any hooters lately? I think I missed Free Booby Tuesday on Billy's sight. I've been busy as a one armed paper hanger.

A textbook definition of cowardice

A textbook definition of cowardice - Countdown with Keith Olbermann - MSNBC.com

Keith Olbermann hit this one right on the head.

Fox News needs to be shut down by the FCC. They call themselves a news channel. They're more like hate mongering, witch hunting, extreme right wing conservative loving, Bush ass licking, fuckwads. Rupert Murdock should die of gonnorhea and rott in hell for this unbelievably GOP loving station he's created. Whatever happened to truth in journalism? Whatever happened to "fair and balanced" as they claim to be?

GWB has them doing his dirty work. Rewriting history with a bunch of bullshit he serves up steaming hot.

Shame on you Fox News.

You don't report news, you INVENT it.

Lonely Weekend for Me

I'm all alone this weekend.

My son went to a friend's house to spend the weekend. It's his friend's 16th birthday and since we live so damn far from everyone now it's just easier to let him stay there for the weekend, at their invitation, than for me to go pick him up every day of the weekend. It's about a 65 mile round trip. Sucks living in a spread out city like ATL.

The man, D, flew to Tuscon Thursday to his parents' house. He was surprising them, as they were driving down to Mexico for a long weekend. His mother had expressed that she wanted us to go, but since I have no one to come up to BFE to stay with Jack to make sure he gets up and goes to school and doesn't smoke up the house with ganja, plus the fact that I just got out of the hospital a week ago, I am here. Yah, life can be a huge, syphalitic byotch.

So he's in Mexico with his parents and his sister and her husband. J, my son, is hanging with a bunch of his friends for the weekend. I'm now alone. Blogging. Listening to my iPod.

To be fair, I am going to dinner with one of my good friends tonight. We're going to see either the Black Dahlia or Hollywoodland, unless we make an impromptu decision to go see Jackass II. Um, that was a joke in case you weren't sure. I would rather put hot pokers up my rectum than watch that fucking ridiculous shit. Damn, would that hurt!

I have no idea where to go to eat. I'm always up for sushi, but my friend may decided she's not. She usually is, but the last time I wanted sushi she didn't. Hmmmm. It's a quandry. We'll figure it out I'm sure. But, I also have to be conscious of my diet since I just got out of the hospital. I'm supposed to eat lowfat to avoid getting pancreatitis again. Ok, no big deal. That's how I generally eat.

Except last night.

I went to Super Wally World and got one of their kick ass deli pizzas. It was less than $7 for a 16 inch pizza. Can't get that anwhere else. Plus those fucking pizzas are what dreams are made of. I kid you not. I reveled in that bitch last night. I ate 3 fucking peices of pepporoni pizza. So much for low-fat. This morning, for breakfast, I had 2 more. I am a gluttonous pig!

I think I need to go find some new clothes to wear to work now. Since it's now the 3rd day of fall I can say I've definitely noticed a slight chill in the air. It's getting down in the lower 60's at night so it's a tad chilly when I leave for work at 6:30 in the morning. I thought I might get some long sleeve button downs for work and maybe a couple of sweaters, plus a pair or two of new shoes. They are needed, trust me. I hate to buy clothes while I'm still a fucking stay-puffed marshmellow woman. It pisses me off, but I guess I should do something about it like NOT EAT FUCKING PIZZA BY MYSELF.

I'm a moron.

Even worse, tomorrow night my parents have invited me and the kid to their house for dinner. Meatloaf, potatoes and carrots. That is comfort food from hell to me. I love that stuff. My mom's meatloaf is so much better than any other I've ever had. I'm sure it's not lowfat by any stretch of the imagination. But, it's so good! The flavor of that fucking meatloaf almost makes me cream my panties. I do not lie about that. In fact, just typing this I am imagining that damn meatloaf and I think I feel a tad moist now. OOOH!

Ok, now I've had my O for the day, what are ya'll doing this weekend?

Mammogramajamma

Nothing like a mammogram to start your weekend right.

I'd been told horror stories about it feeling like getting your funbags slammed in the freezer door, or some other cold and unforgiving, closing mechanism. I was prepared for horrendous pain, sweating, crying, possibly hemmorhaging, begging, fainting, vomiting, etc. The whole gamut of crap you go through when you have to have some sort of "medical procedure." Been there, done that.

But, surprise! It ain't as bad as I thought.

Giving birth? Now that fuckin' sucks as far as pain goes. I got lucky in that I had a C-section, but not until after I had been in 21 hours of exhaustive, screaming, beggin' for death, crying, wanting to be heavily drugged or given an epidural-but wasn't, labor. It's been said a thousand ways before, but labor pain, to me, feels like a bowling ball being rammed thru a drinking straw. Like I said, I was lucky, I didn't have to delivery thru the punani, but my 10 lb kid sure as hell was heading down the pike and I thought I'd never been in such pain or that I'd never be the same in "the region" when it was over.

You know. It's true, I've never been in such unbearable pain as I was in that 21 hours.

Anyway, the mammogram is like a mosquito bite by comparison.

It must be fucking dynamite to be a man and not have to experience that, though I do know a guy who had gynecomastia and had to have one.

To experience sex as a man, just once, is an unattainable fantasy I have. I just want to know how it differs by comparison. I have kick ass orgasms by Mr. D, but I will always be curious. I would also love to be able to write my name in the snow or be able to pee outside without squatting. Not that I make a habit of it or have even squatted within the last 15 years.

Another fantasy that will never come to fruition.

They should do mammograms for penises. Call them Phallograms. There would be lots of men dying of penile cancer if that was the method for detecting it. No man would allow their penis to be put in a machine that would smash them flat.

Lucky bastards.

RRRRRRRRIP!! OOOH! OUCH!

So my muthah got me a great new fleece robe while I was in the hospital. It's a light minty green, very plush and awesome!

The boyfriend has commandeered it. He looks lovely in it too.

Oh well.

Since I just recently got to start eating again, my sphincter got a reprieve from its "duties" for a few days. Unfortunately you would have thought I'd never taken a dump before. The first and second time I had to drop the kids off at the pool I swear I ripped myself a new one. And I didn't do a huge log people. It was nothing unusual. Both were competely NORMAL. I think my butt hymen just decided to grow back. Is that possible?