Tootsie Roll Toes and Nappy, Blood Sucking Ho's

Yup, I changed my template. Hope you like the look, it's basic. I hope in a few weeks to have a new site built for my blog...something that really reflects ME!

I don't have any pics of my hair yet. My digital cam is broken (frak!) and my son forgot his camera phone at my parents' house (double frak) so I have no way to get a pic of my new do!!! Pablo likes it very much. The cut I chose is in the post below, however, I have opted to style my hair differently...pretty much because my hair does what it wants. It's a lot like pubic hair in that regard only not as curly or nappy...just unruly. Imagine a head full of pubes! GAWD!!! Okay, that's WAY overdoing it with the visual!

Anyway...

I'M GETTING FATTER!!!

GAWD NO!!!

Alas, it is true. My ass is as wide as a MACK truck carrying a wide load trailer.

Um, that's pretty fuckin' wide ya'll.

I am going home to Illinois to visit friends & family in June. I'll be staying with KB at her place. She's my BFF in case you didn't know. She's the one that got me blogging...God love her.

Anway, I don't want to be a lardass to scare everyone off. Plus, I really hate to go back and have those gossipy biatches back home gossip about how fat I've gotten. I've got a hormonal disorder dammit! My cells thinks their starving so they store all energy from food I take in as fat...what a biatch huh?



I knew that I had gained significant weight over the last couple of months simply because, at the Chamber of Commerce dinner I went to with the BF tonight, my zipper broke. My fucking fatass gut made the zipper teeth come apart while the zipper lock was all the way up. Great fucking timing huh? I LURVE being a fucking fat ass ho! Um...yah, you know I love it more than I love my Barney Rubble feet...Oh yes, I have Flintstone feet. Don't laugh!! They're ugly bitches and I wish there was plastic surgery for short, wide feet with tootsie roll toes!


these are NOT my feet!

Okay, feet and hair can be pretty gross when you think about it...feet obviously so, but hair too. Especially when it's of the pubic variety!

The worst part about pubic hair is all the nasty stuff that can get lost in it or grow in it, or lay eggs in it! ICK on a STICK! I just got the willies thinking about that last one! My whole body is itching just by looking at this picture and imagining little creatures crawling around in my bush!! EW!!! I'll be boycotting public toilets for the rest of my life just thinking about these nasty little blood suckers. *dry heaves*

Okay, I've grossed myself out enough tonight. I'm going to go scratch just thinking about all this stuff.

*scratch, scratch, scratch*

OH.MY.GOD!! *shudders* I'm SOOOO disgusted with myself for even posting this!!! AHHHHHHHHH!

Please forgive me if I've given you the willies and the itchies too!